Archive for November, 2008

Powder and Grace………

November 10, 2008

I spent all day today thinking about what to be thankful for, you know while I was doing the chasing… yelling… momming stuff… … all day……. seriously… and then I felt like I let myself down.. how on earth can it be so hard to find something to be thankful for. Was I overthinking it… overlooking it… where was it? Can it be just the simple things?
Austyn woke up this morning with a dry pullup… I was so happy I danced… honestly.. you should have seen it.. the mommy with bedhead & pj’s on dance… it was a sight… :) she was pleased, I made her giggle… I was thankful. Papa bear came and fixed our new sink so it wouldnt leak… I got to wash the millions of dishes that were stacking up all weekend long… I was thankful. (honest I was) I got almost caught up on editing… my headache wasnt too too bad today and I got to lay in the bath and hear the sound of rain (ok over the babies crying in the other room with dad) but anyway… I was thankful…
Jerid, M & A went to dinner tonight and I stayed home with my headache and with miss Grace and McCall…. After McCall got over his screaming fit and fell asleep I got to spend some time with the little missy…..
grace….. NOUN:
1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.

um yeah……. right.
This child, well everyday is something new with her. Something wild.. something (or many things) that make me shake my head. She is a whole new and improved form of crazy and most days I just try to survive.
She found the powder tonight… I was wondering why she was being so quiet………..
found it… wore it… squoze it… all over the stinking house… honestly right at that moment I was thankful we dont have carpet…. I quickly assessed the damage, grabbed my camera and began to clean the mess….
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She kept saying uh oh…uh oh….uh oh…. powwwwwda… yes miss Grace… powder… honestly…
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We headed off to the kitchen sink, moved aside some dishes and took a quick bath…. all told we both got a good giggle out of it. She is feisty… she is busy…. and teeny tiny and bold… She makes me run, as they all do… but honestly… I am forever thankful for her… and greatful she is mine…
I wouldnt have it any other way….

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I am thankful

November 7, 2008

thankful for regrets both big and small
thankful for days
long gone by
that turned to nights awake
alone pacing in too small apartments
pushing away dreams
too big for my shoes..
I am thankful..
for the sunflower kitchen,
that forced me to go
for the two lines, the fear
the promise of her
I am thankful.
For all the starts
incomplete
broken
the mistakes, bold… clear
the wild turkey
that chased me till I was blue..
the home
the white picket fence I tried to make…
to force
to steal..
I am thankful.
for the plan
I blinded myself to see
for the future yet to be held
I am thankful.
for the promise
of more
someday
oneday
somehow
I am thankful.

o and for the daughter of mine who listens when I say.. dont get into the bathtub you are dressed………..
I am thankful……..

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giving more thanks……….

November 7, 2008

I am thankful that I have a job that I love… something that stirs me. Each and every time I pick up my camera it moves me. I am thankful that I get to view the world thru my lens, that I am pursuing it.. that I am growing at it. I pulled out some old photos from 2007 tonight and I am thankful that this is a journey where we just learn and learn.. in life, in mothering, in photography.. in everything. We are constantly learning, getting better.. becoming more. I am so thankful for that….
And I am most of all thankful that because I love to capture these moments…. that I have so many moments of my children captured that I had forgot.. those firsts, those smiles.. the laughter…..
So here are some oldies.. but goodies in my book…. my time has flown….
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I am thankful

November 5, 2008

November is about being thankful….. so

God sometimes is silly…..funny even.. has a sense of humor??? Last Feb.. I met a fellow photog… someone at first I never even gave a thought to a future with. We attended a conference together, I thought she was sweet, odd.. interesting even. I never thought that she would be my best friend. We left the conference… with new ideas…new plans..new thoughts…
And I found myself drawn to her.
Not in the wierdo stalker way…..ha…… but in the………she is real….she is true…….she is honest…..she is my friend.
Funny as adults, friends are hard fought for…. something that is not just easy.. but something that is hard won.
L was that… and so much more. Our family and hers has meshed so close that there is nothing that is uncertain. She is the frick to my frack.. the well…….. you know.

So i thank you Lish. I thank you for being you. For your love of God, for your love of family. For being true when all around us fell. For listening to me at 4pm or 4am… for believing in me.. for trusting me… for respecting me…
i thank you.
You are an inspiration…… someone I want to be near.. someone I want to be like… someone I learn from.. someone I admire.

I can say nothing but thanks..
o
and i love you.
you and Dan Bennett and the girls… and t.

and of course, above nothing else……
thanks.

Here you go Kristin…..

November 5, 2008

wow… I could have taken photos of you all day :) too bad the sun went down. You are such a sweet sweet girl & I hope you love your photos!
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What a beautiful family! Thank you so much guys for the wonderful afternoon! Here are a few from your session that I just love…

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All I wanted…

November 3, 2008


All i wanted was to be a mom. I remember as a child playing house with my friends and demanding to be the mom. I wanted a billion children… and a house on a hill with a white picket fence. I wanted to sit in a porch swing and sing to my kids. I wanted to make their clothes and make lemonaid. Its all I wanted. I wanted to be like my mom.. to keep a perfect house.. to bake cookies and hide all the worlds inperfections from my children. I wanted them to know nothing bad, nothing evil. I grew up loved, and happy and safe and I wanted the same for my own children.
I am a mom now… and it seems so hard. When I wake in the morning to someone crying I know how the day will be. I live in a constant whirl of laundry..dishes… meals… schedules… carpools.. time-outs and more laundry.. I feel that so much of every day is spent doing the same damn thing. This is what I wanted. I wanted this. I created this. And yet I find myself wondering sometimes where the magic door out is. I feel like I live in a state of working for my family, where I thought we would always work together…
How is it that this is where I am…… how is it that this is so far from where I came from… how is it that 5 little people look up to me to make the decisions, the plans the dreams and yet I can’t make mine?
My baby just came in and asked me if she could sing me a princess song because I am her princess…she told me the sun went down… but mommy… where did it go?????????? she sang… her beautiful blue eyes looking into mine. I stopped typing. I stopped worrying…

I guess if I can be a 3 year olds princess then my world isnt that bad… is it?

Thank goodness the sun went down…. and thank God.. that it will all be back tomorrow. I really wouldnt want it any other way.

6 Random facts…………

November 3, 2008

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you Mel tagged me. Thanks Mel!!!!!

2. Post the rules on your blog (this is what you are now reading).

3. Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).

4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.

5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Ok tomorrow I will start the 30 things to be thankful for… tonight needs to be about random facts…….. :)

1. I love to cook…….. anything and everything. I love new recipes… love to try new things…
2. One of my favorite foods is peanut butter on pancakes… I know, its wierd.. but I grew up eating this and it is a comfort food for me…
3. When I was in 5th grade, I went by my middle name for a year… I think it was an identity crisis.. I laugh about it now.
4. I love the ocean… the sound, the smell, the way it makes me feel. I miss it, it is one thing I hate about living in Utah…
5. I always thought Id have a daughter named Paisley…. (go ahead laugh) Jerid thought I was crazy…so he won on that one. dang it.
6. I always thought Id be a writer… I was published in college and wanted to pursue it. I started having babies & life consumed me and I gave that up.. I regret that now. I probably always will.

Ok so there are my 6 random facts………. I tag Lisha, Jenny , Melissa , Tanya

everyone else I know has been tagged already :D

I had a great post written in my head at about 3am this morning as I was rocking a fussy baby and tending to some over sugar induced children… last night was rough. I decided if given the choice of a vacation or sleep that sleep would win… I honestly can’t remember the last time I slept all night.. :) Anyway by the time I woke up for about the 40 time this morning I had forgotten everything inspiring/cute/faithful that I wanted to say.. o well.. there is always tomorrow :)
Get ready for a serious photo overload………….
Well let me back up a second… at about 2pm yesterday Austyn came tearing thru the house screaming… I GOT MY COSTUME….. WHERE IS MY CANDY…… wow doesnt take them long huh? Anyhow she was dressed like this…….
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for you non mom’s out there.. this is the thing that I put in the shopping cart to put the kiddos in.. she had her head and arm in one leg hole.. other arm in the other hole…….
um… why did I buy costumes anyway?
Our first trick or treaters
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little did they know that Austyn took this trick OR treat thing seriously… she gave them candy then showed them HER tricks on the trampoline…… Priceless…..
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And Miss B… her costume a labor of love and handmedowns from those we love….. seriously.. shirt and boots from Meme.. Grandma K sewed the sash and I put the jewels on it… Daddy stayed up half the night MAKING her chaps….. she borrowed the hat from me.. crown from Austyn….. what a doll.. she looked amazing!!!
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trying to steal a kiss from his girl…………
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Miss B and her crew…… well part of it… she was sad that Brooklyn and Sawyer werent here :(
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they trick or treated me standing outside the truck.. funny kids
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Our driver… I mean.. my love.
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treats……..
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Ok Cinderella told me she needed a broom so she could fly………. ok……
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i love this one………..
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Ok and dont forget the bear……..the sweet baby bear…..
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and most of the spookies………we were missing Mr M… who was out in Cali to spook the fruits and nuts…………. we miss you buddy
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