Archive for June, 2008
Jerid calls this the crazy clean. I blame it on nesting. I seriously can’t stop… I am ripping thru closets with a furvor…… loading bag after bag after bag of stuff…. stuff that at one point I either thought would come back in style or magicly change to a different size. Stuff. Its everywhere and the more I dig, the more I open boxes the more I find… I am in a good preggo state…the one that knows that it will be a cold day before I fit into those size 2 black stretch pants again…. and funnier yet…. they havent been comfortable or in style in say….. 12 years or so. And no, I have not given up… I am just coming to an honest realization. I am sitting here trying to type with a half naked child in my lap that keeps kissing me…. some things are worth keeping… others are not.
This collecting things….anything …everything is a handed down sickness Im sure. As a parent, how many pictures are we expected to keep? How many first shoes, outfits etc? As a mom, it feels like failure to throw out the jeans that you can remember wearing… but why? Is it that last memory of being young, a connection to my youth? If I could fit myself into those jeans again, would life be as it was then? Would I want that?
It feels good to box up unwanted clutter…. now I just have to be careful that I am not making room for more.
And I cant help but look at my children and realize that the days I am counting down to the birth of their brother can’t be gotten back. I found myself today staring at the calendar trying to wish the next month away….. thinking ok…soccer camp, then the 4th, then swim lessons….then possibly time for a baby? But what about these days I want to fly by these inbetween days??? Should I rather be spending my time trying to bottle them then make them quickly pass? I think of each of my children and know this is the only summer they will be 10 or 8 or 2 or 1…… they will grow…
I sat on the lawn with my camera today… trying to capture them.. just them… in their pure state of childhood. I wished selfishly that M wasn’t in California visiting so that I could have them all here on my lawn… All of them, their drama… their laughter… their stories…their fights…
The time will pass, soon our baby boy will be here to round out this crazyness… and until then, I will be the really pregnant mom sitting in the yard on the lawn. Dont mind me, I am just watching my children grow.
I think this is the right link http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5097950
We are adding more and more each day……. what fun! Hopefully I have fixed the link.. thanks A!